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The corner store seems to have mixed up their coffee dispensers again.
Well, I knew that when I bought this bag of beans, which came from a bin marked with two contradictory labels. No, this is more than a mix-up. This is a travesty.
The brew I’m sipping at this moment is not either French Roast or Italian Espresso, as the two labels insisted. I’m not sure what flavor it is, but if I had to guess, it would be…
Though I’m not a big believer in New Year’s resolutions, I’ve arbitrarily chosen this month to reduce my caffeine intake. And for no good reason; I was, after all, restricting myself to a sub-lethal dose.
For about a week now, I’ve been having one enormous homemade cappuccino in the morning, not one in the morning and one in the afternoon. In real-world terms, this means I’ve gone from six-to-eight shots of espresso a day to about four shots. That’s a big change, and explains my recent silence here; without the nervous pounding energy of a near-toxic caffeine load, I don’t feel the urge to typetypetypeohmygodtype.
I’m sure it will return. I think.
Dear self —
If you botch one step in your morning routine, view that as a red flag and pay closer attention to the subsequent steps.
If you botch a second step, don’t curse and press on; stop. Breathe deeply. Regroup.
If you don’t, things might will get worse. If you’re lucky enough to end the process with only inadequate caffeination, a small steam burn, and an explosion of dry espresso grounds all over the wedding supplies, count your blessings and back away.
A conversation before coffee: a brief parable on the importance of caffeine to the deductive faculties.
E: I’ve mostly seen him in passing. He seems sweet. He smells like toast.
D: He smells like toast?
E: Well, I’ve only really talked to him once. He smelled like toast.
[long pause]
D: Was he maybe making toast at the time?
E: …yeah.
Support from dear and long-time friends is no surprise; indeed, knowing it is always there under the jokes and the kvetching is the very essence of friendship. Elli, K., T & J: there are no words to thank you for your good, generous hearts. We’ve been through so much together that your love leaves me grateful but unsurprised.
But the sweet, stalwart persistence of a few new friends utterly sideswiped me.
You took me out for breakfast. You put down your textbook and suggested coffee. You bought me vodka & tonics in that dim, swanky bar. You burbled beautifully about your wedding plans or your internship or Shakespeare. You listened. Oh, sweet fancy Moses, did you listen. You cracked stupid, smutty jokes. You hugged me ’til my knees buckled, and held on ’til I could stand straight. You revealed yourselves as true friends, and you make me quite weak with fondness and gratitude.
I take it back: you make me strong.
Elli
Elsa
