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Just a few notes, discouraging and otherwise, on writing fiction:

Neil Gaiman discusses the difference (if any) between fantasy and fiction. Does your instructor look down on genre stories? “Best bet is to set your fantasies in the here and now and then, if challenged, claim to be writing Magical Realism.”

Jane Espenson eavesdrops and provides us with a quick, vivid example of how simple dialogue establishes characters and dynamics.

Strange Horizons, the fantasy fiction web magazine, details some stories they’ve seen too often, and follows up with some horror stories they’ve seen too often.

Joëlle Anthony lists 25 repetitive elements in young adult fiction.

Why are you writing, anyway? I bet you don’t have 101 reasons to keep writing. Here’s 101 reasons to stop writing.

Is your protagonist a Mary Sue? Here’s a handy test.

Do all of your stories end with Roy Orbison wrapped in cling film? You’re stealing this guy’s bit.

A surprising number of our visitors arrive here by searching for food safety guidelines. Our search log cuts off longer search strings in midword, leading to some mysterious truncations that give the selected list an eerie, poetic air.

The searchers are misled to Macbebekin by the varied and revolting Can I eat this? archives, but many of them do click through to the related Ask Metafilter questions, so perhaps they’re getting answers to their questions after all. And their questions usually boil down to the same thing: can I eat this?

is it ok to reheat shellfish
are moldy dried beans safe to eat?
‘botulism semi dried tomatoes olive oil’
pork smells like rotten eggs
fizzy tomato sauce botulism?
i left sweet tea out overnight then dran
is it safe to eat ham if it’s been unref
my stuffed shells were left out overnigh
salmon left out overnight safe eat
how long can beef stay in a 60 degree ho
can you get sick from eating shrimp that
sick from eating fermented applesauce
unrefrigerated curry paste go bad
pork smell overnight in fridge
what is black residue bottom of expired
can i use a can of coconut milk that exp
i bouhgt a frozen dinner but only had a
can you eat boiled shrimp six days old
will i get sick if i eat 5 day old scall
i left a duck on the counter all night c
how long is spaghetti sauce safe to eat
can i eat pancetta raw
does chicken broth smell like eggs
is my cheese and ham sandwich still ok t
tuna can little bulge on top of can is i
how long can you eat a sandwich that had
if i left my raw shrimp out all night wi
how long do condiment packets last
how long before unrefrigerated pork must
medjool dates powdery white spoiled
fizzy tomato sauce botulism?
is it ever safe to eat unrefrigerated le
how long before unrefrigerated turkey sa
how long ccan egg beaters be left out of
is crabmeat and cream cheese left at roo
left giblet bag in chicken 2
my stuffed shells were left out overnigh
can i safely cook and eat smelly pork?
if you put frozen shrimp cocktail in the
clams left out on counter. still safe to

And the volta:

is it okay to eat a sandwich that has be
safe to eat pasta dough that turned gree

edited to add a bit of blog business: I hope anyone reading this won’t find their appetite diminished. Don’t forget that the fourth Sandwich Party starts this weekend. Jagosaurus and I will be rounding up the entries all weekend long, so get your sandwiches ready and leave us a comment, here or there. Happy sandwiching!

Happy Thanksgiving! Please enjoy this selection of search phrases leading readers to Macbebekin this week. They’re drawn here by the varied and revolting Can I eat this? archives, and many of them click through to the linked Ask Metafilter questions to find answers, more or less, to their food safety questions.

Our search logs cut off longer search strings mid-word, which lends a poignant mystery to them; we’ll never know, for example, whether the chicken broth smells like rotted or smells like rotting, or what the noun might be.

left giblet bag in safeway turkey
why does my chicken broth smell like rot
is it dangerous to eat olives from fizzi
if you brine the turkey and forgot to pu
blue tint to brined turkey
is canned ham safe if left unrefrigerate
i life my turkey out overnight-can i sti
brined turkey smell rotten eggs
2 year expired turkey ok to eat
i left my turkey on the counter for 3hou
i left my turkey in the car for 5 hours
chicken broth smells like rotten eggs

and the fiercely determined

to hell with vegetarians on thanksgiving

In honor of the upcoming Sandwich Party, I give you “Mr. Bean Makes a Sandwich.”

[To the best of my knowledge, Mr. Bean does not endorse this message.]

I would like to point out that Wikipedia has a subsection headlined “Controversial Doughtnut-related Items”.

That is all.

A brief apology to anyone using RSS; I’m tackling a back-tagging project that’s been haunting me since we moved over to WordPress. This may be inundating you with updated posts, but it will stop soon.

My lack of God, it’s Trotsky The Flying Spaghetti Monster! You know, for kids!

I recently spent an hour trying to overcome some NoScript issues so The Fella could set up a Facebook account. To check things out, I signed into my own long dormant account

And I decided, despite my previous kvetching, to give it a try.

(I’m currently reserving Facebook, logically enough, for people I know face-to-face. It’s mostly to preserve the illusion of distance between the Elsa known to the professors and administrators and the Elsa who swears fluently and tells goofy stories in the hazy world inside the tubes.)

If nothing else, Facebook allowed me to message a friend who’s been otherwise unreachable, and to see the comment stream of a loved one who’s been too overwhelmed to use email or phone. I’ll cheerfully admit that’s handy.

Otherwise… well…

In a week or so, I’ve had exactly one flashing moment of illumination: I saw how this network could hook you but good, like buying scratch tickets or playing craps. I was idly looking up a grade school friend — a girl I hadn’t seen in 25 years and several thousand miles. To confirm that the profile was indeed my old friend and not someone else with her name, I check to see if her sister (also a one-time friend of mine) was among her contacts. She was

… and the sister lives here, in my small hometown, a town neither of them had ever heard of when we met in Texas.

It flushed me like a win at roulette, this odd little nothing of happenstance. I shook my head and thought “What are the odds?

And then I closed both profiles without contacting either, because, y’know, what’s the point? If we’d wanted to be in touch in the past 25 years, I guess I would’ve made an effort earlier, or they would’ve. But I didn’t, and they didn’t, and so we didn’t.

This pretty well sums up my response to Facebook in general: cool! But what’s the point?

After 8 years with movabletype, we’re calling it quits, throwing in the towel, bidding them adieu. Hello wordpress, now everything that goes wrong will be your fault. Poor new patsy. At least comments seem to work over here, if I could just figure out this css with all the new tags…

JM just walked up behind me and said it’s kind of sad, but he’s so relieved! The many MT installs and problems fell to him and he rescued us on all occasions, however the latest comment breakage was the final straw. I’ll be slowly updating the design here when I can and fixing the many broken links as well. It’s like a fresh start, but with lots of baggage.

So not only have JM and I moved to Perth, but now Elsa and I have a new virtual home as well. Hope to see you, or you see us soon.

Against all expectations, upon our marriage, I will change my name.

Uh, sorta, kinda, in a coupla places. Readers of The Fella’s weekly Video RePort will no longer know me by my given name, but as Mrs. Videoport Jones.

See, Future Mother-in-Law, I did take his name after all!

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