habits

To make you even happier that you don’t live with me, allow me to list a few habits that enliven our tv time:

When someone on screen has cake, remark “They have cake.”

Make note of particularly galling (non-food) product placement with the complaint, “Aw, now I’m hungry for a Motorola cell phone.”

When watching an especially enticing setting or situation, announce “I want to go to there.” (Sometimes this results in a double-play: “They have cake. I want to go to there.”)

When the detective presents a blurry photo to a lab tech or scans it into an intricate machine, anticipate the inevitable (and technically impossible) sequence in which blurry photo is magnified to impossible clarity; repeat “Enhance. Enhance. Enhance.”

Whenever the Brooklyn Bridge appears in the background of a tv show, point at screen and in a matter-of-fact tone announce “Cloverfield monster.”