Souvenir

Today was Toss Out Old Toiletries Day. After disposing of my collection of shampoo and conditioner samples, I started sorting through my makeup. The only item that can be considered a recent purchase is a tube of waterproof mascara I bought last year. Otherwise we’re looking at some pretty aged articles, one of which I held up for JM to see.

Me: Be proud of me.

JM: Why?

Me: Because I’m throwing out old junk. (Brandishing a stick of black eyeliner.) Do you know what this is?

JM: Something you’ve held onto for 14 years?

Me: Um, (pause) longer.

I have carried around this eyeliner for 23 years. My high school French teacher gave it to me because I was an overzealous A+ student who desperately wanted to but couldn’t go on the annual French Club trip to France. So she brought a little bit of France back to me. Merci beaucoup, Madame M. And now that I’ve written about it, I think I can throw it away. Please, please, don’t let me dig it out of the trash. Perhaps I’ll go buy a new one tomorrow to carry around for the next 23 years.